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  Books Worth Reading
By Dr. Ram Ramcharran

Compromise

Let’s look at what the word compromise means. Compromise could mean concession and or negotiation. Which definition do you prefer? I prefer negotiation over concession, because when I negotiate I feel I am still at least getting something in return. But when I use the word concession to me, I feel as if I am not getting anything in return. I am just giving up all my rights in whatever the situation may be.

When you examine your life as a whole, it is one great big compromise, isn’t it? If not, you are in trouble! No matter what you do in life, if you don’t compromise to some degree you are destined to be miserable because you will constantly feel as if the world is taking advantage of you. But when you compromise you are gaining a sense of acceptance and you are getting somewhere because people are paying attention to what you believe is true or correct. No matter how much or how little you compromise, it is a very healthy way to live your life.

Compromise is the gateway to happiness in relationships, the world, and life for the most part. If you are not willing to compromise then you are destined to be unhappy in your relationships. You see, life is one big compromise because you and the other person are two entirely separate people. When you have two different entities there are issues on which you will not see eye-to-eye - the only way you will resolve concerns and issues is by being able to compromise fairly. When compromising, you must try to come out of the situation feeling as if you have accomplished something. If you do not, you will be resentful towards the other party, and resentment will faster and will only become more nagging. True compromise will occur when both parties feel a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. Without these two feelings you have not attained anything, especially compromise. Learn to accept these parts of your life - if you don’t, you are destined to be unhappy.

Courage

Courage is an extremely important part of your character and makeup as a person. Courage is used to overcome your feelings of insecurity, anxiety and neurotic behavior, but the tough part is recognizing the need to improve your life. People normally lack courage because they’re afraid of being abandoned and being isolated from their family, friends, peers, colleagues, and things they like.

Courage is your ability to be yourself always and be open to new ideas and willing to experience new things. You have to experience many different stages of life as you grow from a child, youngster, and teenager all the way to adult life.

Courage is seeing and accepting the truth and being able to live with life’s failures and successes - that is the beginning of growth and chance. The courage to recognize and act on those feelings will bring awareness to your inner being and will define you and your character. Courage is not being a “tough guy” but being able to recognize and take action to self-improve and discover the “Self.” Courage drives your freedom, your character, your dreams, goals, and most of all your “Self.”

Forgiveness

Sometimes when you are feeling upset and disappointed about an argument or a situation, you just can’t help but feel awful inside. What are you supposed to do to get rid of that sinking and horrible feeling? First, you should try to identify why you are feeling that way and what is the cause of that feeling. Don’t focus on the event, because the event is not the cause of the emotion. The awful feeling is caused by your inability to disconnect from the situation, leaving you trying to figure out why the event happened.

You see, sometimes you can’t control how someone feels or reacts, no matter what you do. Each and every person has his own way of thinking and feeling, so at times what may be a simple thing for you may be extremely important and difficult for the other person to accept. Your ability to recognize this will allow you to deal with the situation. In spite of how you feel and what the outcome is or was, you must forgive that person for how they made you feel; if you do not, you will not be able to move forward in your life. There is no benefit in hanging on to things that will affect your life in a negative manner. The more you cling to issues and circumstances, the most you will be tied to that situation. Forgiveness can be to yourself for your own reaction. Forgiveness can be directed to the other person who may have caused you the pain or anxiety, but it is still up to you to make that first step to offer forgiveness. Once you have done so, then you can move forward with your life.

Excerpted with permission from the book “Reflections of Life” by Palm Harbor-based Dr. Ram Ramcharran, Iceni Books, (www.icenibooks.com), Pages 108, $11.95
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